I have been designing and developing web sites for over 25 years, predominantly for non-profit organizations in the telecommunications and law enforcement industries. I have extensive experience with HTML, PHP, CSS, JavaScript, and more. I don't want to do that sh*t anymore.
These days I smoke cigars, drink a lot of coffee, and wipe crusty cat butts. When I remember to.
Complete Contract Details
Choosing the right employee is tough. Fo-get aboutit, you found 'im. Here's the deal:
- Have good intentions.
- Don't lie.
- Never harm innocent life.
- Shut up more often.
- No meetings with more than 3 people, remotely.
- No in-person meetings.
- No in-person anything, likely.
- No more than 20 hours per week, on MY time, at MY pace.
- Family healthcare, including dental & vision. Good sh*t that can actually be used where we need it.
- Zero vacation days per year.
- Family & Medial leave, based off from current Washington State & Federal laws.
- Entirely remote.
- Up-front payment.
- Three (3) mulligan's.
Hourly
$449.99
per Hour
- Unlimited Space & Traffic
- 99.9% Server Uptime
- SSL Certificate Available
- Plugin Updates
(As required) - Database Backups
(Store up-to 12) - 8-Hour Minimum Contract
- 1 Day Money-Back Guarantee
Monthly
$29,998.99
per Month
- Everything in Basic, plus...
- Progressive Thinking
- Weekly Updates
(As required) - Weekly Database Backups
(Store up-to 52) - Priority Customer Support
- 2 (ea.) One-hour Remote Training Sessions
(Up to 20 people) - 12-Month Minimum Contract
- 1 Day Money-Back Guarantee
Annual
$857,454
per Year
- Everything in Standard, plus...
- Integrated Communication!
- Daily Updates
(As required) - Daily Database Backups
(Store up-to 365) - 60-Month Minimum Contract
- 1 Day Money-Back Guarantee
*NOTE: Annual options IS only available to ONE particular company. I'm not saying who. Same team. Same role, for now...and I'm not paying for the broken stuff. Thank you!!!
Contact me today to discuss simplifying your business.
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